00:00 Stephen Colbert Welcome to The Late Show, everybody. 00:02 Welcome to The Late Show. 00:03 I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, and it is... 00:08 It's Friday. 00:09 It's Friday. 00:13 That is, that is right there. 00:14 That's not just any Friday crowd. 00:16 That is the Friday crowd before the Friday, before summer begins. 00:21 It is summer, ladies and gentlemen. 00:27 Congratulations, you made it. 00:27 That's it. 00:28 That's it. 00:30 I'M GOING TO GET A TAN, MAN. 00:31 I'M GOING TO GET A TAN THIS SUMMER. 00:33 I'M GOING TO DO THE COCOA BUTTER. 00:34 IT'S GOING TO BE FANTASTIC. 00:36 YES, I AM. 00:37 NO, I'M GOING TO DO THE COCOA BUTTER. 00:38 I'M GOING TO SMELL LIKE A BUFFET AT A JIMMY BUFFETT RESTAURANT. 00:46 OH, THIS WAS THE FIRST DAY OF RAMADAN. 00:48 RAMADAN. 00:49 HAPPY RAMADAN, OR WHATEVER EMOTION GOES WITH RAMADAN. 00:55 I DON'T ENTIRELY KNOW WHETHER IT'S A TIME OF FASTING, SO HUNGRY RAMADAN. 01:00 GOOD LUCK. 01:01 JUST HAVE A GOOD ONE, THAT'S ALL I ASKED. 01:02 NOW, DONALD TRUMP IS STILL OUT OF THE COUNTRY. 01:06 WE STILL HAVE TIME TO CHANGE THE LOCKS. 01:15 HE'S IN SICILY FOR THE G7 MEETING. 01:19 THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE DOWN AT THE G7 MEETING THIS YEAR, OR AS TRUMP CALLS IT, WEATHER CHANNEL FAKE NEWS. 01:29 GETS COLD EVERY WINTER, DON'T UNDERSTAND. 01:31 YESTERDAY, DONALD TRUMP WAS IN BRUSSELS FOR THE NATO MEETING? 01:37 YEAH, THE NATO MEETING IN BRUSSELS, AND THE MOMENT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT IS HIS HANDSHAKE WITH NEWLY ELECTED FRENCH PRESIDENT AND GUY WHO WANTS TO TRY IT WITH THE LIGHTS ON TONIGHT, EMMANUEL MACON. 01:52 THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS POOL DESCRIBED THE HANDSHAKE THIS WAY, EACH PRESIDENT GRIPPED THE OTHER'S HAND WITH CONSIDERABLE INTENSITY, THEIR KNUCKLES TURNING WHITE AND THEIR JAWS CLENCHING AND FACES TIGHTENING. 02:05 PRETTY EXCITING STUFF. 02:07 THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS POOL IS APPARENTLY NOW ALSO WRITING EROTIC FANFICTION. 02:15 GET READY FOR 50 SHADES OF ORANGE. 02:30 TRUMP WAS IN BRUSSELS FOR THE NATO SUMMIT, AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE, AND WHEN THEY WERE LINING UP FOR ONE OF THEIR PHOTOS, LOOK AT HIM GET KIND OF HANDSY WITH THE PRIME MINISTER OF MONTENEGRO. 02:42 ALL RIGHT, OUT OF MY WAY. 02:44 OUT OF MY WAY, YOU MONTENEGRO. 02:47 ALPHA MALE COMING THROUGH. 02:48 STAY DOWN, PINK HAIR. 02:51 I DON'T... WHAT A JERK. 02:52 NO, I DON'T... GET OUT OF THE WAY. 02:55 I GOT TO ADJUST THE JACKET. 02:57 NO ONE WILL NOTICE. 02:58 I DON'T THINK THAT KIND OF SHOVING IS APPROPRIATE FOR AN INTERNATIONAL SUMMIT. 03:02 THAT'S THE KIND OF SHOVING THAT BELONGS IN THE BUFFET LINE OF MAR-A-LAGO. 03:07 TRUMP WAS NOT DONE OFFENDING OUR ALLIES. 03:10 Donald Trump 23 OF THE 28 MEMBER NATIONS ARE STILL NOT PAYING WHAT THEY SHOULD BE PAYING AND WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PAYING 03:20 FOR THEIR DEFENSE. 03:21 Stephen Colbert AND WHILE TRUMP WAS DRESSING THEM DOWN, LOOK AT THE NATO LEADERS' FACES. 03:25 COME ON, CHECK THIS OUT. 03:27 OH, COME ON. 03:29 CHEER UP. 03:29 HE'S NOT YOUR PRESIDENT. 03:34 YOU DON'T HAVE TO. 03:43 NO WONDER THAT TRUMP WAS LEFT LARGELY ON HIS OWN AFTER THE SPEECH AS LEADERS MINGLED AND LAUGHED WITH EACH OTHER. 03:50 OH, THEY WOULDN'T LET POOR DONALD JOIN IN ANY NATO GAMES. 03:59 NO, NO, NO. 03:59 GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, WAIT UP. 04:01 WAIT UP, GUYS. 04:02 DID I EVER TELL YOU THE STORY OF HOW I WON THE ELECTION? 04:04 I WON MICHIGAN. 04:06 I WON WISCONSIN. 04:08 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 04:09 I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT PENNSYLVANIA YET. 04:12 Wanna guess whether I won it?