00:00 Stephen Colbert Welcome to The Late Show, everybody. 00:03 I am Stephen Colbert, your host. 00:07 Your host for the next hour. 00:10 Now, your president for the next four years will be Donald Trump. 00:14 And get used to it. 00:15 No, no. 00:15 It's the deal. 00:16 It's the deal. 00:17 Suck it up. 00:18 Now. 00:19 On Friday, in case you didn't catch this, down in your neck of the woods, down in Maton Rouge. 00:26 That's right. 00:27 Donald Trump was down there, and he held a rally where, spoiler alert, he talked about himself. 00:33 Donald Trump You know, Time Magazine, they were both nice and a little bit wise guy yesterday. 00:37 They gave me the person of the year. 00:39 It used to be called the man of the year. 00:41 Now it's called the person of the year. 00:42 That's good. 00:43 They're politically correct. 00:45 THEY WERE VERY POLITICALLY CORRECT. 00:46 Stephen Colbert YEAH, AND TIME MAGAZINE ISN'T EVEN THE MOST PC MAGAZINE. 00:50 THAT TITLE GOES TO PC WORLD MAGAZINE. 00:54 THE WORLD, THAT'S THE ONE. 00:55 NOW, UH, BUT, UH, FUN FACT, TRUMP WASN'T DONE COMPLAINING. 01:00 WHO WOULD RATHER HAVE IT BE THE PERSON OF THE YEAR? 01:02 Donald Trump A COUPLE OF PEOPLE. 01:06 WHO WOULD RATHER HAVE IT BE THE MAN OF THE YEAR? 01:13 Maybe why that... That could be why the magazine business isn't so great. 01:17 Stephen Colbert Yeah. 01:18 Could be. 01:18 Magazines do way better when you use the word man. 01:21 I mean, just ask the editors of People Who Are Men magazine. 01:27 Mm-hmm. 01:28 Yeah. 01:29 That was... That was Dwayne the Male Johnson. 01:33 AND THIS COULD BE A THING. 01:39 IT LOOKS LIKE TRUMP WILL NOMINATE EXXON MOBILE CEO REX TILLERSON TO BE SECRETARY OF STATE. 01:47 I GOT TO SAY, REX TILLERSON COULD BE ONE OF THE MOST OIL TYCOON NAMES OF ALL TIME, RIGHT BEHIND TEX DRILLERSON. 01:57 AND IT'S A GREAT NAME, AND I KNOW A LOT OF NAMES SO FAR HAVE BEEN FLOATED FOR SECRETARY OF STATE, BUT TILLERSON MIGHT HAVE THE EDGE BECAUSE HE IS CLOSE TO VLADIMIR PUTIN. 02:09 IN FACT, IN 2013, PUTIN GAVE TILLERSON RUSSIA'S ORDER OF FRIENDSHIP, AND YOU WANT TO BE VLADIMIR'S BUDDY BECAUSE PUTIN BELIEVES IN KEEPING HIS FRIENDS CLOSE AND HIS ENEMIES IN A BAG. 02:22 But, of course, the big story today is that the CIA has reported to the Senate that Russian hackers acted to aid Trump in the election. 02:32 So Trump was right. 02:33 The election was rigged. 02:36 NOW, THIS HUGE SURPRISE IS NO HUGE SURPRISE. 02:42 BECAUSE BACK IN OCTOBER, WE KNOW THE CIA TOLD THE WHITE HOUSE THAT RUSSIAN HACKERS WERE INVOLVED, BUT THE CIA DID NOT RELEASE THE REPORT BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WANT TO SWAY THE ELECTION. 02:51 THAT'S THE FBI'S JOB. 02:54 NOW, THE CIA'S FBI FANS... 03:02 THE CAA'S PROOF IS THAT RUSSIA HACKED BOTH THE DNC AND THE RNC, BUT DID NOT RELEASE WHATEVER INFORMATION THEY GOT FROM THE REPUBLICANS, POSSIBLY BECAUSE NOTHING IN THE RNC E-MAILS WAS AS BAD AS WHAT TRUMP WAS SAYING OUT LOUD. 03:19 APPARENTLY, APPARENTLY, RUSSIA'S GOAL WAS TO UNDERCUT CONFIDENCE IN THE INTEGRITY OF THE VOTE. 03:26 WELL, IT DIDN'T WORK. 03:28 I still have complete confidence in the vote. 03:31 It's my faith in humanity that's been shattered. 03:34 So, what do we do? 03:38 What do we do? 03:40 What do we do about it? 03:41 Even if it's true, if this proves to be true, what on earth do you do now? 03:47 WHILE DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS IN THE SENATE ARE CALLING FOR A BIPARTISAN PROBE INTO RUSSIA'S SUSPECTED ELECTION INTERFERENCE. 03:54 OH, GREAT. 03:55 THERE'S NOTHING MORE REASSURING THAN THE WORDS, DON'T WORRY, CONGRESS WILL DO SOMETHING. 04:00 THEY'RE ON IT. 04:02 CRACK TEAM. 04:04 TOP MEN. 04:12 AND WHAT IF THEY FIND OUT THE RUSSIANS DID HACK OUR ELECTION? 04:16 WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THEN? 04:18 WELL, SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING WE SHOULD HAVE AN ELECTION DO-OVER. 04:22 ALL RIGHT, SOMEBODY GO TO THE WOODS AND FIND HILLARY. 04:26 OLLI, OLLI, AUXENFREE! 04:43 Now, not everyone believes the Russians are behind this. 04:55 For instance, the Trump folks released a statement calling the CIA story into question, saying, these are the same people that said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. 05:05 HARSH WORDS, BUT TRUE. 05:08 IT WAS TRUE. 05:09 THE CIA SHOULD HAVE DONE WHAT DONALD TRUMP DID IN THE LEAD-UP TO THE IRAQ WAR. 05:13 TAKE EVERY POSITION POSSIBLE, AND LATER JUST PICK THE ONE THAT MADE YOU LOOK BEST. 05:18 BUT THIS IS UNPRECEDENTING. 05:20 THIS IS UNPRECEDENTING. 05:25 OUR ELECTORAL SYSTEM MAY HAVE BEEN HACKED BY A FOREIGN POWER LED BY STRONG, VIRAL, AND MAGNETIC VLADIMIR PUTIN. 05:33 PUTIN IS NUMBER ONE ROCK AND ROLL PARTY PRESIDENT WHO HAVE TOO MANY MUSCLES FOR SHIRTS. 05:39 I'M SORRY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 05:40 WHAT'S UP WITH MY PROMPTER? 05:42 SOMETHING WAS WEIRD. 05:42 LET ME CHECK OUT WITH MY PROMPTER OPERATOR, JOHNNY COWBOY. 05:45 JOHNNY, JOHNNY, WHAT'S... JOHNNY, JOHNNY COWBOY, EVERYBODY. 05:52 Johnny Cowboy. 05:54 Johnny Cowboy. 05:55 You guys know Johnny. 05:56 Johnny Cowboy, what's happening with my prompter? 05:59 Soundbite Hello, Steven. 06:01 Your teleprompter is A-OK, Yankee Super Bowl. 06:09 Stephen Colbert It's got a lot of pro-Russia stuff in it here. 06:13 Soundbite Steven. 06:15 The idea that Vladimir Putin is fantastic number one super hunk is not pro-Russian. 06:24 It's just fact. 06:26 Disney World Coca-Cola, am I right? 06:30 Stephen Colbert I'm not gonna fight with Disney World Coca-Cola. 06:32 You're right about that one. 06:33 Now, so my prompter's not hacked, Johnny? 06:36 Soundbite Your prompter is not hacked, Steven. 06:39 Not hacked. 06:41 Make America blue jeans Cindy Crawford. 06:47 Stephen Colbert JOHNNY COWBOY, EVERYBODY. 06:51 LISTEN, STAY WITH THE LATE SHOW. 06:54 MANY LAUGHS OCCURRING WITH JOHN GOODMAN TONIGHT. 06:57 NOW MAKE GREETINGS TOWARD JOHN BATISTE.