00:01 The Doctor Mr. Thomas, I have some bad news. 00:09 You have a serious medical condition, and if you don't have surgery immediately, you'll likely die. 00:15 Mr. Thomas Oh my God. 00:16 The Doctor With your current health care plan, you can only choose between two people to do the surgery, but the choice is totally yours. 00:23 We have Dr. Stewart, a surgeon trained specifically in this procedure. 00:29 Or the circus clown. 00:34 Mr. Thomas Wow. 00:36 Gotcha. 00:39 Where did the surgeon go to school? 00:41 The Doctor You heard your options, right? 00:42 Yeah, I know, I know. 00:43 Mr. Thomas It's just, this is my life we're talking about. 00:45 I just want to make an informed decision. 00:47 The Doctor Well, um, it looks like Dr. Stewart went to undergrad at Purdue University. 00:52 Mr. Thomas Purdue? 00:54 Not like a Harvard or the other one? 00:56 The Doctor He did undergrad at Purdue, and then med school at NYU, and then residency at John Hopkins. 01:01 Mr. Thomas Hmm. 01:03 And the clown? 01:05 The Doctor Just a circus clown. 01:07 Not a surgeon, but it does look like this clown was best known for performing at Bartholomew and Bott's Big Ring. 01:15 Mr. Thomas Oh my god, I've seen him. 01:17 He's kind of famous. 01:19 The Doctor Yeah, he's clown famous. 01:22 Mr. Thomas And the surgeon, he's not famous? 01:25 The Doctor Well, he is very renowned in his field. 01:27 Mr. Thomas But I wouldn't, like, recognize him from anything? 01:29 The Doctor Anything being? 01:30 Mr. Thomas I don't know, like a show or Instagram or TikTok. 01:34 No. 01:36 That's a lot of moving around. 01:37 The surgeon, a lot of moving around. 01:40 Purdue, the other places that you said. 01:43 The Doctor Yes. 01:44 Mr. Thomas So that's not suspicious to you? 01:46 The Doctor No. 01:47 Mr. Thomas I see. 01:49 So you're in on this? 01:49 The Doctor In on what? 01:50 Mr. Thomas I see. 01:53 And the clown, did he do a lot of moving around during his experience? 01:57 The Doctor You mean his experience as a clown and not a doctor of any kind? 02:02 Mr. Thomas Yes. 02:02 The Doctor No. 02:03 He was mostly just a clown for the one circus. 02:06 Mr. Thomas Hmm, solid track record then. 02:08 The Doctor Okay, I feel like we're getting a little bit off topic. 02:10 You need the surgery to save your life. 02:13 And there is one doctor, 02:15 And one clown. 02:20 Mr. Thomas Man, that clown is funny. 02:22 The Doctor Mr. Thomas, this is a very serious decision. 02:25 Mr. Thomas Right, of course, totally. 02:27 And just to make sure, does the surgeon have good morals? 02:32 The Doctor Every doctor takes the Hippocratic Oath, which is a pretty strict ethical code. 02:35 Mr. Thomas Well, that's very reassuring. 02:39 And the clown? 02:40 Is there some equivalency in the clown world? 02:43 No. 02:43 Are you sure? 02:44 Feels like there should be. 02:44 The Doctor I'm not sure, but there would be no reason for clowns to have a moral code because they don't deal with life or death situations. 02:51 Mr. Thomas Until now, that is. 02:52 Yeah. 02:53 So maybe they should fix that? 02:54 The Doctor Or you could just have him not operate on you. 02:56 Mr. Thomas For sure. 02:57 For sure. 02:58 It's just the surgeon is clearly a privileged elite. 03:02 The Doctor Okay. 03:03 Mr. Thomas So obviously that means that he worships the devil and he dissects baby squirrels. 03:08 The Doctor There is no reason to think that the surgeon does any of that. 03:11 Mr. Thomas But the idea is out there now, isn't it? 03:12 The Doctor Because you said it. 03:13 Mr. Thomas I know, but now that it's out there, it just feels so icky. 03:17 I'll be honest with you. 03:18 The Doctor This clown has performed surgery before, and he has killed a lot of people. 03:23 Mr. Thomas How many people? 03:24 The Doctor Over 200,000 in the last eight months. 03:27 Mr. Thomas Wow, that is a lot of numbers. 03:29 But maybe they would have died anyway? 03:30 The Doctor But that's the point. 03:32 Probably a lot of people could have been saved with the proper surgeon. 03:35 Mr. Thomas I'm leaning clown. 03:36 The Doctor Why? 03:37 Mr. Thomas The clown told me he could do the surgery. 03:39 And I don't know where you're getting your numbers, but the clown just gave me this very confident looking graph. 03:44 The Doctor Oh my God, I can assure you. 03:46 He doesn't know how to do surgery. 03:48 He is a clown. 03:49 Mr. Thomas So one of you two is lying to me. 03:51 How do I know that you're not the clown? 03:54 The Doctor Because he's the clown. 03:56 Mr. Thomas Fair. 03:57 He's very good at tricks, though. 04:00 The satanic squirrel dissector, does he do tricks? 04:04 The Doctor You mean the surgeon? 04:05 He can do the very impressive trick of saving your life from all his years of training as a surgeon. 04:10 Mr. Thomas It'd be pretty wild, though, if the clown did my surgery. 04:14 So crazy. 04:15 The Doctor Yes, that would be crazy. 04:17 Mr. Thomas I know. 04:17 He's not even trained. 04:19 The Doctor Exactly. 04:19 This clown has no idea what he's doing, and if you don't get the surgery, you will die. 04:23 Mr. Thomas Don't tell me what to do. 04:25 The Doctor It's not telling you what to do if I'm just describing the facts of the world around you. 04:29 Well, don't describe the facts of the world around me if they're bad. 04:32 Mr. Thomas OK, surgeon, clown, what are you going to do? 04:35 I don't know yet, but maybe if I yell enough, I'll figure it out. 04:38 You push me into this room and you put the weight of the world on my shoulders, and then you tell me that my only and obvious choice is this buttoned-up sucker, and then my only other option is this fake non-option, and you call me an idiot for doubting the integrity of the system itself? 04:52 Well, as I see it, that's the only reasonable thing to do in this fucked-up scenario. 04:55 And I don't know, maybe you're wrong! 04:57 Maybe there is some other choice! 04:59 Or maybe I can beat this thing on my own! 05:01 Or maybe you're lying to me and I'm not even sick! 05:04 Or maybe, just maybe, if I'm gonna die anyway, then my one mark on this stupid planet is to be the guy that got famous for having the world's most popular clown give him surgery! 05:14 Cause fuck it! 05:15 And fuck all of you! 05:16 And the clown told me he could do it! 05:19 Maybe he'll be great! 05:20 And cool! 05:22 The Doctor I know this isn't easy or comfortable. 05:25 This is a very serious situation. 05:28 But there is hope. 05:29 There is a way out. 05:31 And yes, the system is flawed. 05:33 And you and I might agree or we might disagree on how it's flawed, but it is. 05:39 And that's why we need people like you to make it through the surgery so that you can make a difference and help change the system. 05:46 This clown doesn't know how to do surgery. 05:49 Mr. Thomas I'm a great surgeon! 05:52 The Doctor And if you let him, it's not gonna be good. 05:55 I promise you, he is bad and he is not cool. 06:00 And if enough people like you pick the clown, there might not even be a surgeon as an option next time. 06:08 I understand.