00:00 Stephen Colbert OF COURSE, IF YOU COME FROM A MUSLIM MAJORITY NATION, AIR TRAFFIC IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM BECAUSE TRUMP IS STILL TRYING TO PUSH HIS MUSLIM TRAVEL BAN. 00:10 REMEMBER, HE HAD THAT EXECUTIVE ORDER, HE SIGNED, SHOWED EVERYBODY, AND THEN THAT WAS STRUCK DOWN IN COURT, THEN IT WAS REWRITTEN TO BE A LITTLE SOFTER, AND THEN IT WAS STRUCK DOWN AGAIN. 00:18 WELL, NOW A REVISED VERSION IS HEADED TO THE SUPREME COURT, AND THE ADMINISTRATION'S ONLY CHANCE OF WINNING IS NOT CALLING IT A TRAVEL BAN. 00:28 TELL THEM WHY, SEAN. 00:29 IT'S NOT A TRAVEL BAN. 00:30 BECAUSE WHEN WE USE WORDS LIKE TRAVEL BAN, THAT MISREPRESENTS WHAT IT IS. 00:35 GOT IT, GOT IT, OKAY. 00:37 SO THIS THING SHOULD GET APPROVED BY THE SUPREME COURT AS LONG AS NOBODY CALLS IT A TRAVEL BAN. 00:44 PEOPLE, THE LAWYERS, AND THE COURTS CAN CALL IT WHATEVER THEY WANT, BUT I AM CALLING IT WHAT WE NEED AND WHAT IT IS, A TRAVEL BAN. 01:03 MR. PRESIDENT, THAT WAS THE ONE THING YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY. 01:09 THAT'S LIKE GOING TO AN AA MEETING AND SHOUTING, WHO WANTS SHOTS? 01:14 THEY ALL DO. 01:15 THAT'S WHY THEY'RE THERE. 01:16 BUT DON'T SAY IT. 01:20 AND IF CALLING IT A TRAVEL BAN WASN'T BAD ENOUGH, TRUMP WENT ON TO TWEET, THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH THE ORIGINAL TRAVEL BAN, NOT THE WATERED DOWN, POLITICALLY CORRECT VERSION THEY SUBMITTED TO THE SUPREME COURT. 01:34 MR. PRESIDENT, YOU CAN'T CRITICIZE THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT. 01:38 YOU CONTROL THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT. 01:41 TO QUOTE THIRD-GRADE BOYS EVERYWHERE, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF? 01:44 QUIT HITTING YOURSELF. 01:45 QUIT HITTING YOURSELF. 01:52 YOU OKAY? 01:55 YOU OKAY? 02:00 THAT'S CAMERAMAN ABUSE. 02:01 AND THIS ISN'T THE ONLY TWEET THAT MADE NEWS IN THE LAST WEEK. 02:06 I KNOW THIS HAPPENED FIVE DAYS AGO, BUT I WILL NOT BE DENIED THE CHANCE TO ENJOY THIS ONE. 02:11 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT. 02:13 JUST AFTER MIDNIGHT LAST WEDNESDAY, DESPITE THE CONSTANT NEGATIVE PRESS. 02:25 OKAY. 02:32 STRONG STATEMENT, SIR. 02:34 BOLD. 02:34 PRESIDENTIAL. 02:36 REMINDS ME OF THE FIRST DRAFT OF THE Gettysburg Address. 02:39 FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN RATZELTAB. 02:44 OF COURSE, THE INTERNET LOST THEIR COVFEFE OVER THIS. 02:50 WHY DID THE PRESIDENT TYPE THAT? 02:52 IT WAS THE NEW WHAT COLOR IS THE DRESS, BUT INSTEAD OF WHITE VERSUS BLUE, IT WAS SLEEPY VERSUS STROKE. 03:00 THE TWEET WAS TAKEN DOWN SIX HOURS LATER AND REPLACED WITH A RESPONSE FROM TRUMP SAYING, WHO CAN FIGURE OUT THE TRUE MEANING OF COVFEFE? 03:10 ENJOY! 03:12 SEE? 03:13 IT'S JUST FUN. 03:15 IT'S NOT A MISTAKE. 03:16 IT'S FUN. 03:18 HE'S IN ON THE FUN. 03:20 WHAT A HILARIOUS JOKESTER. 03:21 IT'S A GREAT FOLLOW-UP TO EVERYTHING HE DOES THAT MAKES NO SENSE. 03:26 WHO CAN FIGURE OUT THE TRUE REASON I WITHDREW FROM THE PARIS CLIMATE TREATY? 03:29 ENJOY! 03:30 WHO CAN FIGURE OUT THE TRUE REASON WHY I INFLICTED MY CORROSIVE VORTEX OF PARANOIA, WOUNDED EGO, AND STIFLING INHUMANITY ON THIS GREAT NATION? 03:38 ENJOY! 03:39 WHO CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT'S UP IN THE FANNESS RUSSIAL VIDEO TAPE OF ME ASKING THOSE WOMEN TO COVFEFE? 03:45 ENJOY! 03:47 OF COURSE, THAT WAS A FAST READ. 04:01 THAT'S RIGHT. 04:02 COVEFE. 04:02 OH, COVEFE. 04:02 OH, COVEFE. 04:02 COVEFE. 04:02 Crosstalk COVEFE. 04:03 COVEFE. 04:03 Stephen Colbert COVEFE WILL COST YOU EXTRA, OF COURSE. 04:06 The big story last week, any of you guys remember this? 04:08 You been watching the news this week, John? 04:10 Last week, the big news was Trump's announcement that America was pulling out of the Paris Climate Agreement. 04:16 Yeah, I know. 04:18 I know, I know, I know. 04:19 But don't worry, he's got a sound scientific reason. 04:23 Donald Trump I was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh, not Paris. 04:31 Stephen Colbert Mr. President, it's pronounced St. Petersburg. 04:44 Have fun. 04:46 Enjoy. 04:50 By the way, I believe Pittsburgh, not Paris, is now the official motto of Pittsburgh. 04:57 According to Trump, he pulled out because the agreement lowered America's status in the world. 05:02 Donald Trump At what point does America get demeaned? 05:07 At what point do they start laughing at us as a country? 05:11 Stephen Colbert I know that one. 05:13 JANUARY 20, 2017. 05:14 OTHER MEMBERS OF THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAVE BEEN DEFENDING THE MOVE, INCLUDING VICE PRESIDENT AND MAN PRETENDING TO THINK, MIKE PENCE, WHO SAID THE CLIMATE CHANGE DEBATE HAS JUST GOTTEN TOO POLITICAL. 05:43 Crosstalk FOR SOME REASON OR ANOTHER, THIS ISSUE OF CLIMATE CHANGE HAS EMERGED AS A PARAMOUNT ISSUE FOR THE LEFT. 05:48 Stephen Colbert YEAH, FOR SOME REASON, THOSE LEFTIES WANT THE EARTH TO REMAIN INHABITABLE. 05:53 PROBABLY BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE GEORGE CLOONEY LIVES.